TheXponential | Biyang Wang, LCSW
Remote Psychotherapy & Consulting
University Students: Managing Your Mental Health During the COVID-19 Pandemic
University Students: Managing Your Mental Health During the COVID-19 Pandemic
You have probably heard this again and again over the past few months: the COVID-19 pandemic is an unprecedented crisis. Indeed, it has disrupted the plans, routines, and lives of people all over the globe, including University Campuses. Students were told to return to their homes and attend their classes online, thus forcing them to leave friends, mentors, and the community they’ve come to count on. These sudden and imposed changes left many students feeling distressed, helpless, and frustrated.
The situation surrounding COVID-19 sent students scrambling to reevaluate their summer and post-graduation plans, generating massive uncertainty for their future. Even if you intellectually understand the necessity of the drastic measures to leave campus in order to ensure the health and safety of the campus community, it still makes perfect sense to be upset.
There is not a BEST way or RIGHT way or PERFECT way to respond to a crisis. However, it is common to develop stress reactions, which can manifest differently between individuals, with varying duration and intensity. Don’t let anyone tell you to “get over it already,” especially if that person is yourself. Below are some recommendations to help you manage your mental health as you continue to navigate this novel landscape.
Here's a preview of what we will discuss:
Allow Yourself To Mourn
College is a unique life stage for exploring intimate relationships, uncovering passions, self-discovery, and personal growth. It’s one of life’s rare opportunities to have so much concentrated time to meet people from all walks of life, have widespread access to learning and research, and explore personal and professional interests.
For seniors, it can be especially painful spend the last days of your College career separated from those deep friendships you’ve cultivated over the years, and the campus life you’ve come to appreciate. It’s likely that you will not be able to attend the classic graduation ceremonies, walk across the stage to receive your diploma, and participate in traditional celebrations of your accomplishments. Even if you intellectually understand and agree with these decisions, it’s still disappointing and sad to miss out on creating such precious memories. It’s also a loss for your loved ones who are unable to embrace you, and be by your side to celebrate this momentous achievement.
Acknowledge that this is a loss, as this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity was taken away without notice, discussion, or choice. Allow yourself to mourn and grieve. Take as much time as you need to process everything in your own way. Even if you think: “This is happening to everyone, so just accept it;” or “Just be grateful you have a home to return to;” or “Leaving campus is for the best,” you are justified to experience all that comes up on the inside: anger, denial, depression, and desperation to reclaim what was supposed to be yours.
Practice self-compassion – gently remind yourself that you will see your friends again, and have the opportunity to celebrate together and make plans stay connected as you each set out on individual paths. You will forever be a part of the University community, a proud member of the alumni network, and a representative of this educational institution . Your memories will always be yours.
Accept and Feel ALL Feelings
Feelings are not right or wrong, good or bad, large or small – they are yours, therefore they are valid. However, you have to power to choose the meaning you assign to your experiences and the actions you take in response.
For some, college might have been a difficult and lonely experience. You may feel relieved to take a break from this stressful academic environment and the many complex social expectations. Looking forward to returning home doesn’t mean that you don’t also feel the weight of the crisis like everyone else; it highlights the intricacy and the diversity of the human experience. The COVID-19 pandemic is an abrupt end to a life you’ve grown accustomed to, and it makes sense to feel sad and nostalgic for the end of an era. At the same time, every ending is a beginning of something new.
Home is generally associated with comfort and peace, but that’s not everyone’s experience. For some of you, college was your ticket out of a restrictive, insecure, and even harmful environment. You may feel anxious about returning home to a place where you have long distanced yourself from, still triggers unpleasant memories, and you would have imagined you’d ever return to. You may also feel scared for yourself and your family amidst the social and economic uncertainties. You may also experience anger and resentment that after working so hard to get into the college of your choice, your time at this warm, supportive, and hopeful community is suddenly cut short.
You may feel a whole range of emotions from opposite sides of the spectrum: excitement and dread, relief and anxiety, bitterness and gratitude. There’s no need to rationalize your emotions or scold yourself for feeling bitter and irritated. Feelings are not facts, and certainly not reflections of your personality or character. Let’s face it, the COVID-19 crisis is a crazy, unpredictable, and all-around shitty situation. This doesn’t mean that it’s helpful to remain in a state of helplessness and bitterness. Instead of judging or suppressing the uncomfortable ones, when you allow feelings to surface and sitting through the experience, you will gradually feel better. If you keep pushing them down, like an inflatable beach ball being forced underwater, the pressure builds and will eventually shoot out of the water with magnified force. By permitting yourself to process them, strong emotions will lose their power, so that you can naturally return to your emotional equilibrium.
Experiment With Stress-Reduction Strategies
It’s time to put those critical thinking skills to use. When you notice yourself displaying symptoms of stress response, be proactive and prepare coping strategies you can use the instant you start to feel overwhelmed. Don’t expect that the first one you pick out of a hat is an instant winner. Consider this process an experiment, you start out with the ones most appealing to you, implement and observe the effects, and complete more trials as needed. What works for one person may not work for another. Here are some strategies to try:
- Find a positive support system, whether that’s staying connected to your friends, reaching out to family members to process your concerns, or meeting with a professional if you need additional guidance to manage your emotions. Social distancing guidelines dictate physical distancing, which is different from emotional distancing. This is a good time to catch up with old friends, meet new people through online channels, and improve your current relationships. Other people may be experiencing the same struggles, and sharing builds comfort.
- Set up a plan and routine. Part of the stress created by the coronavirus crisis is extended uncertainty. Creating a list with things you can do to stay safe, such as hand-washing, wearing masks (if recommended), organizing your finances, and building a schedule with people you’re at home with ~24/7. Staying on top of the things you can control reduces the chaos.
- Schedule enjoyable activities and mindfulness practices. Prior to the pandemic, commuting to and from classes, social activities, or running chores helps to insert natural breaks throughout your day. Now that you are home, it’s easy to forget to stay active, relax, and take time-outs. Yet, during this stressful time, it’s even more important to manage your mental wellness. You can use some simple techniques to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, or (re)discover your love of art, reading, writing, podcasts, and other hobbies.
- Take care of your body by eating regularly, picking nutritious foods to boost your immune system, and staying active. I know things are different now that you can’t grab a bite from your favorite restaurant and grocery shopping has become an ordeal. However, properly fueling your body is crucial for keeping your body running smoothly and fighting off infections. Do a Google Search and find delivery services if that will make life more manageable.
- Sleep! College students are known for being night-owls and all-nighters, but depending on how your classes have adapted to online learning, late nights may not be necessary. Of course, some people’s natural circadian rhythm makes them late sleepers, but that may still be earlier than what you’re used to while on campus. Besides, who’s getting the least amount of sleep is no longer cool as a badge of hard work. Sleep helps your body heal, boosts your immune system, and improves your mood. Adequate sleep naturally decreases anxiety, which will make you more capable of dealing with distress and stress reactions.
- If you’re stuck in a rut, reach out to the community and find ways to help others. There are a lot of charities seeking donations, but you can contribute in other ways as well, such as becoming a mentor, sharing your technical skills, helping small businesses, or looking at your University’s website to become a peer support. This gives you a sense of connectedness and pride, knowing that you are making a difference in someone else’s life.
Create a routine, even if it’s only temporary and ever-changing. At the beginning of a crisis, we find comfort in believing that the changes and sacrifices we have to make are temporary, and our lives will return to exactly as it had been before the pandemic. At the same time, as a few months have passed, there is still a lot of unknown about the timeline for a vaccine, and how schools will deal with the new Fall Semester. Some schools are already moving to at least partially online courses, with more questioning how to implement social distancing in crowded 101 courses. Despite all of this, having a daily routine reduces the mental energy required to make simple decisions, such as when to get out of bed, shower, get dressed, take your meals, and finish your homework. You have enough to worry about, so free up your mental space to enjoy fun and relaxing activities, connecting with loved ones, and having downtime without an urge to be productive.
Maintain A Balanced Media Consumption
There’s no question that it’s important to stay updated on the latest health guidelines, government regulations, and in-touch with your friends. At the same time, many people and organizations use this digital platform to project their own fears and opinions, some of which are magnified or distorted to their own worst-case scenarios and insecurities. Anxiety and fear are emotional contagions; a simple glance at someone’s frantic post will raise your own heart rate and alert radar. You are already busy managing your own questions and concerns, and it’s not beneficial to internalize other people’s distress. This doesn’t mean you’re turning your back on other people’s pain and struggles; this is protecting yourself and conserving your emotional resources so that you can be there for the people you care about, including yourself.
For some, fanatically staying on top of all breaking news offers a sense of control, while for others, the pressure to keep up and the information overload exacerbates fear and distress. Things may also vary depending on the type of information. Either way, there is so much breaking news happening throughout the day , so be mindful of what is helpful for you. As a middle ground, you can pick a few of your favorite news sources, and sign up to receive their newsletters one, or a few times throughout the day. This way, you can be assured you won’t miss out on the major headlines, while also having control over what you read and when. In addition, make sure that you’re getting the latest information on the pandemic from credible news sources to help you stay informed of the latest guidelines and recommendations on prevention, testing, treatment, and other relevant details.
Here are a few:
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): www.cdc.gov
- World Health Organization: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019
- Your state, city, and local government websites
- PODCASTS:
Even though we are relying more on digital media to stay connected with the world, it’s still important to turn off your devices regularly. Granted, living and studying on a college campus involves a lot of social interactions, even if it’s passing other students between classes. But even then, it’s important to have Alone Time so that you can fully unwind without feeling obliged to accommodate others. Similarly, it’s important to make sure that the digital world does not intrude upon your personal space and freedom.
Be mindful about what you allow inside your mindspace.
You Are Stronger Than You Think, Though Not Invincible.
Perhaps you are despairing, and you have every reason and right to be. It’s uncomfortable, it’s irritating, it sucks. When will this end?
We can’t predict the future, but we can tell you this:
You will get through this.
If you haven’t had the opportunity to overcome major challenges, then these words may sound blank and monotonous. Sure they make sense intellectually and are spoken from the mouths of people wiser and more experienced than you, but it’s not the same as living the experience yourself. As psychotherapists, we’ve had the privilege of witnessing the strength and resilience of numerous individuals from diverse backgrounds with various traumatic experiences.
It’s difficult to see the positives while you are in the weeds of the struggle, and easier to look back at the event with insight and appreciation. However, undergoing the process is how you will reach the other side. As they say, the only way is through.
At the same time, you are human, and you have limits. Experiencing emotional distress if a natural response when faced with life-threatening and life-altering situations. Common feelings associated with stress include fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, guilt, and irritability. Common physical symptoms include changes in sleep schedule (too much/too little), changes in appetite, gastrointestinal troubles, low energy, and constant tension. Some people also experience cognitive disturbances including racing thoughts, low motivation, increased distractibility, poor memory retention, and decreased focus. This is not an exhaustive list of potential symptoms, but it’s likely that you experience at least 2 or 3 at some point. it’s more important to evaluate if and how they’re impacting how you engage with life.
While people experiencing stress share certain commonalities, stress itself compasses a whole range of feelings, sensations, and interpretations. Since your experience may not mirror that of the people around you, try not to compare, and instead get real about how it’s impacting your daily function. Clients often find it helpful to jot down a rating between 1-10 at the end of each day, with 1 being the worst you’ve ever felt, and 10 being the best time of your life. You can track how the type, intensity, duration, and impact of feelings vary over time. If over the course of 2-3 weeks, your symptoms continue to worsen, please don’t try to toughen it out – reach out to a mental health professional. That individual can help you process these feelings, develop insight, practice coping skills, and guide you through the process of feeling more yourself.
You are not alone.
Getting THROUGH vs. Getting OVER
College is a time where young adults develop independence, confidence, self-awareness, social skills, and inner strength. You want to show your parents, your friends, and the world that you are wiser, more mature, and capable of dealing with all of life’s challenges. So when something like the COVID-19 pandemic knocks you into unknown territory, creating despair and confusion, your instinct is to say:
“Hey, Self, Shake it Off. Get over it!”
But overcoming obstacles is not a matter of willpower; chastising and shaming yourself for struggling will not magically make your troubles go away. Moreover, viewing your feelings (i.e. fear, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and confusion) as a sign of weakness keeps you stuck in a state of powerlessness, diminishing your confidence and inner strength.
What’s the alternative?
As the famous poet writes:
“He says the best way out is always through. / And I can agree to that, or in so far / As that I can see no way out but through”
– Robert Frost: “A Servant to Servants” 1915
Getting THROUGH is not about “fixing” or ensuring a positive outcome. Instead, it’s about using a growth mindset to view this situation as a process fostering creativity, flexibility, and resilience.
A few months ago, you had a vision for what post graduation looks life, and possibly a plan for what the next few years in your personal, professional, relationships, and all other areas of life will look like.
Right now things have changed. But it doesn’t mean that doesn’t mean that it’s all back to Square One, everything is lost, and you have to completely start from scratch. Yes, there will continue to be uncertainty and many moving pieces. But even though your Outer World is unstable, your Inner World is what can be constant and the Rock during chaotic times. This means focusing on your values and what’s important for you. If you care about learning and personal growth, you can find activities that is in alignment with those values, whether it’s reading, listening to podcasts, or taking some free online courses or trainings. If you care about service, you can continue to support your community by looking for ways to volunteer your time and skills for small business owners who may need someone with finance knowledge, or younger students needing mentorship.
This crisis can be an invaluable opportunity to channel your creativity and strengthen your ability to adapt to chance. These are important life skills, and will 100% be used later in life. Of course we wouldn’t wish for a crisis into a person’s life, and cause pain and suffering. And yet, it is when we are forced to deal with those impossible situations way beyond our comfort zones that we shatter our limiting beliefs and uncover the depth of our potential.
There is always a silver lining to every gray cloud. For those of you who are graduating and still have no idea what you want to do, (which, by the way, is completely normal), then chill and relax a little, because you now have more time and space to figure things out. Give yourself permission to be OK with uncertainty. Hopefully this loosen some of the pressure that you have on yourself for being perfect, and a good practice to be be open-minded and flexible as you journey through life.
SO
How have you been lately?
NO REALLY –
How are you?
We hope this article gave you some strategies to deal with. If you are looking for help, we are here to help .
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